Why It’s Better To Be Single On Valentine’s Day

Valentine’s day is bullshit (AKA If I don’t get something I’ll probably cry).

Raise your hands if you’ve caught yourselves feeling this way at least once today 🙋🙋🙋. But let’s be real for a moment: We’ve enjoyed being single every other day of the year, so why should today be any different? You can totally have an amazing day sans romance, and we’ve compiled a list of ways for you to do just that. Besides, what would Beyonce do? Queen B sure as h*ll wouldn’t be sitting around feeling sorry for herself and neither should you.

You’ve read our articles on how to find a S.O. in 2017, but what do you do when it’s Valentine’s Day, a S.O. is yet to be found, and everyone and everything gives you those single af feels? We got you – pour yourself a martini, and read this…

Count all the money you’re saving 💸💸💸💸

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Not just on Valentine’s day, but relationships in general are expensive af. Between the birthday gifts, christmas gifts (throw in gifts for his family too), anniversaries, and not to mention all the money you spend on looking extra to keep the man counting his blessings, relationships can easily add up to well over a thousand (if not thousands) of dollars per year. If remembering that you get to keep all that cash to yourself doesn’t entice you to let out a devilish cackle, the next point should…

Treat yoself, pamper yoself, spoil yoself

Photo Via Rainspa

Since you’re not spending money on your S.O. today, you may as well invest it on keeping yourself in that “life is so damn good” state of mind. Book a spa day, take a trip to Sephora, go on a pinterest-induced redecorating binge, or pay a visit to your favourite clothing store and never look back.

E.A.T.

You’ve been eating healthy all year long (or at least telling yourself to), so why not spend Valentine’s Day indulging in whatever you want – all day. No one will care, or notice for that matter. Besides, you’ll have plenty of time to hit the gym over the weekend since you won’t have to spend it with a man. Summer bodies may be made in the winter, but when you live in Montreal and it lasts 6 months, no one’s in a rush.

Bestie-Appreciation Day

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What about non-romantic love? The love in your life isn’t limited to a man, and no one ever said Valentine’s Day was exclusively about him. Round up your girl squad for dinner at your place, make a fancy meal together, and spoil each other with luxe little gifts whilst drinking plenty of wine.

Vaca mode 💵💵💵💵

Via Getty Images

A trip > flowers. Going back to our realization that less bf = more 💵💵, why not use that money on treating your fine-ass self to a vacation? Be it a major getaway, or a few day road trip to NYC, who wouldn’t want to get out of Montreal in February?? Go re-charge those batteries (you’ll need them to plot your world domination).

Do whatever the f*** you want

Being in a relationship involves a lot of compromise – but sometimes all that compromise can get a little inconvenient and it sure feels good to indulge in your desires without worrying about anyone else’s. Spend today celebrating being able to do whatever you want, because remember that you’ll probably spend only a few of your best years single – and those years are worth cherishing. Next Valentine’s Day you may have a S.O…. so enjoy the single life while you still can!

In the words of Carrie, “ Maybe some women aren’t meant to be tamed. Maybe they’re meant to run free until they find someone just as wild to run with.” And today, of all days, is when you need to remember that.

 

Valentine’s Day Dream Date

So I asked some friends to come up with one TV character who they’d love to go on a dream date with… for some it came easy but for others the choice was quite difficult. Because I couldn’t pick one I narrowed it down to two… to kick things off let’s start with one of my choices:

Yup… Hank Moody made it to my top 2.

Name: Henry James “Hank” Moody

Occupation: Writer

Dream Date: Not a planned one. We meet at a bookstore, where I spot him right away since God Hates Us All was one of my favorite books. He asks to buy me a drink which I agree to of course and we end up at a bar where we drink whiskey of course and well… you know the rest.

Next let’s talk about one of my friends who literally took 0.2 seconds to come up with her answer… and when I told her to think about it, she said there was no need.

ALLIE

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Name: Harvey Specter

Occupation: Lawyer

Dream Date: He picks her up in his Ford Mustang (same car Steve McQueen drove in Bullitt) – He takes her to a low key restaurant because to be honest she actually wants to have a conversation on this date (cause he’s not just a pretty face). They talk about family, career, long-term goals… and right before the bill comes she mentions her short-term goal is for him to take her back to his place – because we all know in the end Harvey likes to be dominated in the sack.

RANDEE

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Name: Jack Pearson

Occupation: Architect

Dream Date:  To be honest, Randee would be perfectly happy with Jack taking her to a Steelers game even though she doesn’t watch football… only because it means she could wake up like this the next morning:

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AMANDA

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Name: Jake Ballard

Occupation: Director of the NSA

Dream Date: I think Amanda would be okay with the first half of the date to be dedicated to just looking at him – clothing optional. For the second half I would think a good bottle of wine would be involved, some great conversation and a second date marked in the calendar.

ARIELLE

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Name: Alex Karev

Occupation: Head of Pediatric Surgery

Dream Date: Their first encounter would be at Seattle Grace Hospital where she brought in a student who had an allergic reaction on Valentine’s Day (who remembers that episode?). She would notice him but he’d be pre-occupied with the kid (we’re talking new Alex here all grown up) – they’d see each other again later that night at Joe’s where they’d have some drinks and get to know each other.

I mean seriously… look at him:

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Going to end this one off with my second pick… was a tough choice but if anyone knows me they know how much I want him to come back on one of my favourite TV shows.

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Name: Steve/Jimmy

Occupation: Not sure

Dream Date: I must say i’d be perfectly fine with cooking a nice home-cooked meal in the Gallagher kitchen – bang back a couple of beers and enjoy some good old fashioned conversation with this crazy sexy man.

Big shoutout to Aww Sam for her Celebrity Heartthrob Valentine’s Day Balloons.

8 Chivalry Tips for the Modern Man

Chivalry isn't dead, it's just outdated.

Holding the door open, giving her your jacket when it’s chilly, picking her up from home on dates, standing on the outside of the sidewalk to protect her from splashing cars…

It’s all great stuff, straight out of page one of Chivalry for Dummies. There’s nothing wrong with sending flowers for no particular reason other than to surprise a girl, and we’re not saying you shouldn’t hold the door or offer her your jacket, but the Prince Charming who was brought up on Chivalry for Dummies can come off as a bit…creepy. He’s the guy who will ask for father for your hand in marriage, get you a toothbrush for his place a week into the relationship, order your meals for you at restaurants, and carry your purse when you’re out.

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Remember, there was a time when chivalry meant killing other men in your girlfriend’s honour. The concept has evolved a bit since then, but it can feel creepy and stuffy because it hasn’t really changed since women got the right to vote. Chivalry isn’t dead, it’s just outdated. So forget everything you thought you knew about chivalry, it’s time to rewrite the code.

1. Pay for the an Uber home after the first date

Guys used to be expected to pick a girl up from home and drop her off at her doorstep after the first date. It’s a nice idea, but times have changed. It’s almost insulting to a girl’s independence to pick her up on a first date—she can get there herself, thank you very much. If it’s nice out, walking a girl home is a classy move that will never get old, but if it’s cold or rainy, pull out your phone and get her an Uber home.

2. Snapchat her back every time no matter what

There’s nothing more annoying than sending a hilarious Snapchat to someone and getting nothing back. The proper Snap-etiquette is murky on mass-Snaps to friends, but when it’s a personal Snap meant for someone you’re sleeping with, the rules are clear. Reply no matter what. A guy that doesn’t Snap you back is a guy that doesn’t call when he says he will. He’s showing that he doesn’t get excited over a grainy pic of your beautiful face, and can’t take the two seconds out of his day to show that he’s thinking about you.

3. Send her at least one eggplant emoji every day

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This is a sexy and playful way to keep things spicy and let your girl know that you’re thinking of her (in that way) all the time. Nobody likes when some random instadouche slides an eggplant emoji into your DMs, but getting a tasteful aubergine from your man with a thoughtful message attached will turn a frown upside down and make you excited to rush home after work. A banana works almost as well as an eggplant, and replying with a peach emoji will guaranteed drive him crazy.

4. Let her choose the Instagram filters on your couple pictures

Choosing between Slumber and Valencia can take minutes of careful consideration, and bowing down to your girl’s choice lets her know that you respect her taste. It also signals that you’ll be easygoing and cooperative when it comes to making more serious choices down the road, like wallpaper and kitchen tiling and wedding cake.

5. Don’t skip ahead in the TV show you’re watching together

Having a show that you watch together is a double-edged sword. It’s precious thing that can bring couples closer together with inside jokes and time spend cuddling in bed. It’s also a fragile thing that can tear couples apart if one person watches the next episode without the other. It’s a scummy move to pull on a friend, but with a significant other it’s an unforgivable betrayal. One moment he’s pretending he hasn’t already seen that episode of Breaking Bad, the next he’s pretending he has to work late.

6. Always the first to like her new profile picture

Changing your profile picture is a scary moment for even the bravest, most self-assured person. It’s a plunge into the unknown, the boldest of Facebook moves. Being the first to like your girl’s new prof pic makes her remember that you’re the only person she needs, and will calm down her anxiety until the rest of the likes come pouring in.

7. Laugh at her captions even when they’re not funny

This is just common courtesy. Laughing at each others’ captions and posts on social media is one of the keys to a long and happy relationship.

8. If it’s getting serious, make sure your proposal goes viral

You don’t have to endanger your life, but a viral proposal video is the modern equivalent of shouting your love from the rooftops. It makes sure everybody in the world knows about your special love, and will show your kids that you’re still “hip and with it” when the time comes.

 

 

Dazed By All The #Days

Valentine’s Day. If you have a special someone, it’s your time to pull out all the stops to prove just how much you love your significant other. You’ll make frantic restaurant reservations, buy overpriced chocolates, and have slow, over-emotional sex in scented candlelight before returning to your normal, unromantic self with a wine hangover the next day.

If you’re single, you can rant about how Valentine’s Day is a load of commercial bullsh*t. A Hallmark holiday cooked up by the chocolate/jewelry/teddy bear companies to shamelessly capitalize on love. Or you can wait a day and celebrate Singles Awareness Day (S.A.D.—yes, it’s intentional) on February 15.

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These days, there’s a day for everything you could possibly think of. If you woke up with a sore tooth on Tuesday, you missed a great once-a-year chance to celebrate National Toothache Day (Feb. 9). But what’s done is done, and as the saying goes, there’s no use crying over spilled milk—especially on Thursday, which happens to be National Don’t Cry Over Spilled Milk Day (Feb. 11).

Also on Thursday: National Make a Friend Day, National White T-Shirt Day, National Shut-In Visitation Day, National Peppermint Patty Day, and National Inventors’ Day.

You probably knew that February is Black History Month, but its also National Bird Feeding Month, National Macadamia Nut Month, Canned Food Month, and National Children’s Dental Health Month, and since it’s a leap year that gives you one extra day to #CELEBRATE! That extra day, if you were curious, is National Rare Disease Day. It only happens once every four years, so get hyped! (The complete list of days and months are cataloged here if you’re interested.)

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What’s with this WORLD?!

I know what you’re thinking: “What has this world come to???” There are more #days than days and way more #months than months. It’s way too much to keep track of, and it’s definitely silly at this point, but at the end of the day silly is what we all need. As long as they don’t take away from actually important days like Remembrance Day 0r Mother’s Day, the more the merrier.

Imagine you’re the CEO of the National Celery Board. It costs you nothing to declare March as National Celery Month other than promoting it. Worst case: a few people throw celery-themed parties in August. Best case: it takes off like Valentines Day—people guzzle down caesars with celery sticks, ants on a log makes a huge comeback, #CeleryMonth starts trending on Twitter every March.

While most of these #days are marketing ploys, some have interesting origin stories. National White T-Shirt Day started back in 1937 after autoworkers wore white shirts and blouses in a strike against General Motors. Now it’s just a day to celebrate the effortless badass look of a plain white T.

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Our favourite under-the-radar day is August 8, Sneak Some Zucchini Into Your Neighbour’s Porch Day. It was started by Pennsylvanian gardener Tom Roy as a way to get rid of the surplus of squash he would accumulate every summer. Even if you don’t have the same problem, there’s something hilarious about quietly creeping up to your neighbour’s door to leave them a zucchini, and celebrating the day means you get to use the epic hashtag #SneakSomeZucchiniIntoYourNeighboursPorchDay!

So whether you’re a grumpy single or madly in love, whether it’s commercial bullsh*t or a wholesome zucchini tradition, marking down the #days and #months on your calendar gives you another reason to celebrate each day, even if that reason is making fun of yourself for #celebrating.